A Finnish girl in early twenties studying a bachelor's degree in Seoul, ROK.

"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - A.A. Milne

We were planning to dress up and have a nice meal before getting our party groove on on Friday but at least I am so far drawing a blank on where would be good to go apart from the ones I frequent at. Help?

I’m quite over this whole “buy an umbrella, have it break after one use, repeat” -ordeal. I’ll just let myself get soaked then; pretty sure that’s cheaper.

Why am I only doing well in the classes that have nothing to do with my major? 

Anonymous whispered: Fuck you for not having interest in me or anyone else's life but your own. Unfollowed

I’m sorry, but was I supposed to know who this is? Based on the fact that you mentioned me not having interest in you, I’d guess so, but if I actually knew you then how about not hiding behind anon, huh? Are you that guy who was pressed yesterday because I didn’t respond to his “hey”? Otherwise I’m drawing a blank here. It’s my blog so of course I’d naturally tend to blog about my life, and unfortunately I’m too busy to go to everyone’s blogs every day to read, to like, to comment (because I never check the dash anymore - I go directly to everyone’s blogs to catch up on everything they’ve been up to). So… good riddance? 

It’s exhausting how every time I talk to my mom we end up fighting, because I’m simply not as excited about going to Finland for the winter as she wishes I was. I do want to get to know his fiance, and his daughters, and whatever my “new family” supposedly consists of, but I would have liked to have been given some time to do so instead of being thrown into all of it the second I step out of the plane what with the man living in our house, and me having to share the room with his daughters over Christmas break. Our house was also the only thing in that country I held any sort of emotional attachment towards, and they’ve renovated the whole thing to the point I feel like, physically, my home no longer exists. Not to mention that due to me not getting enough credits I’m not facing two problems: 1) I will have a beast of a senior year ahead of me, and 2) I’m losing my financial aid as of January. If I’d stayed here to study during the winter semester, maybe those would issues could have been fixed, but that was out of question for mom to even discuss with me. I understand family is important, but I am also selfish, and right now to me getting my degree triumphs over everything else; I’m already estimated to graduate two years late than I was originally supposed to, and I’m not willing to push that back any further, but right now I also don’t exactly a sufficient amount of money to continue with without having to starve, but literally nowhere to turn to for help even with scrambled efforts of trying to find a part-time job. But the other magic word that sets mom off the rails every time is “money”, and she’ll go on about how she does want to help but she’s a single mom with another child to feed besides me, as if I hadn’t realized as much already therefore trying not to ever ask for anything besides maybe chocolate. Did I already mention she bought two cars, renovated the entire house, and flew the whole “new family” to Turkey this year? But, I don’t wanna fight about this anymore, or even think about this anymore, I’ll deal with having to live with strangers and with having to live off of ramyun next year, and instead keep making mental lists of all the food I will eat while I’m there. Does the bad daughter of the year award go to me yet or do I have to do even more to receive it? 

It’s interesting how differently my mom and me view my dad whenever we dream of him. To mom, those dreams are like nightmares; she’ll be yelling at him that he has to go, that he can’t stay because he’s dead. Whereas my dreams are always very mellow, and it’s as if I’m always dreaming of a father I wish he had been, but not how he actually was. I do usually wake up fairly disoriented afterwards, though, for it’s weird to have someone who’s been dead for a full decade now to still be periodically popping up in my dreams. 

Would it be too mean of us if we started posting the profiles of every guy we met on a dating app that turned out to be an asshole on our blogs? I know for one that my limit with dealing a single one of them (in general, not just ones on apps) is DONE, and, were I to use them again, would love to know which ones to avoid as they’re not all so blatantly obvious at first about their asshole tendencies. (Or maybe I just want to destroy the ones who have already wronged me.)